mood:
In my second excerpt on love (didn't intend until i read my soci psy book lOlx.), we shall explore the dimension of love in a social psy way.
mhMm...i hope pple are reading my blog cos apparently it's written for myself & others out there too. even diaries are commercialized these days bleahX.
soO we have 2 theories of love: John Lee & Robert Sternberg.
According to John Lee, there're 3 primary style of love:
Eros, Ludus & Storge (stor-gay)Eros: passionate love like 'love @ first sight'
Ludus: playful love. love as game
Storge: Companionship, peaceful & steady; found in family & friendship.
Of course, we don't just purely love pple based on these. We mix & match them lOlx.
Secondary styles:
Mania: combi of eros & ludus. Mania lovers need to be reassured that they are loved and often hold themselves back, afraid they love too much without equal returns. Mania lovers actually do not really love the person but '
in love with love itself'.
Pragma: ludus + storge. Practical approach hence the word 'pragma'. who is compatible in terms of interests, backgrounds, attitudes etc. e.g. of pragma lovers: matchmaking love, computer dating.
Agape: eros + storge, love promoted by christianity. Selfless & giving.This kind of love is very rare and according to Lee, pple who prefer this style re prob. practicising celibacy (like nuns) and do not have lover/mate.
And of course, we do not remain in the same style forever. Also, people who prefer a certain style would remain in a longer r/s with pple who subscribe to the same kind. So choose wisely! lOlx.
oOkies Robert Sternberg's Love as 3 main components (which we all have already known):
initmacy, passion & commitment. Here he combines these components into 8 subsets of love..mhmm...
Intimacy: feeling of closeness & connection
Passion: "chemistry"
Commitment: Maintenance of r/s
So when we say "i love you" to frens / family members it's ok, there's after all 8 different types of love! lOlx.
1.
Nonlove: Acquaintanceship
2.
Liking: high intimacy but low passion & commiment. Friendship.
3.
Infatuation: High passion but low intimacy & commiment. ' Love @ first sight'.
4.
Empty love: High commitment but low/ absent intimacy & passion. Possible is marriage cos of kids and cos of religious reasons
5.
Romantic love: P+I but no C. High school romances
6.
Companionate love: I+C but no P. Married ones who no longer hav passionate sex but enjoy company.
7.
Fatuous love: C+P but no I. Meet & marry within few weeks
8.
Consummate love: C+P+I. Very difficult to achieve & maintain.
Conclusion: Love exists in every second of our lives. And often, pple break up due to many reasons.However, it is nt tt they don't love each other anymore (they didn't realise this..i didn't either) it is more of incompatibility in love styles & the kind of love they attribute themselves to when in that r/s. Once it's absent, we assume love is gone too~
Hope this blog entry gets you thinking~!
